Secret to a Long Life

Lynn: Ollie, you’ve got a birthday coming up pretty soon don’t you?

Ollie: Yup, I sure do.

Lynn: Well tell me, how old are you going to be?

Ollie: 162.

Lynn: You are going to be 162 years of age?

Ollie: That’s what I said. Can’t you hear?

Lynn: Wow, that is amazing. Tell me, what is the secret to living to the age of 162?

Ollie: Don’t die.

Lynn: I should have known. What does your wife have to say about it?

Ollie: Nuttin.

Lynn: What do you mean nothing? Isn’t she excited?

Ollie: Nope.

Lynn: Why not?

Ollie: She’s dead.

Lynn: Oh. Well tell me this -- do you have any grandchildren?

Ollie: Yup, I sure do.

Lynn: How many do you have?

Ollie: 368 with one on the way.

Lynn: 368 grandkids!!!!

Ollie: That’s what I said with one on the way. Don’t you listen?

Lynn: Well I was just surprised at the number. Tell me, with 368 grandkids, how many kids did you have?

Ollie: None.

Lynn: None!!!!!

Ollie: Yup, none.

Lynn: (Long pause) I don’t understand something. You say you have 368 grandkids.

Ollie: Yup. And one on the way.

Lynn: And then you tell me that you didn’t have any kids.

Ollie: Right.

Lynn: Well if you didn’t have any kids, how did you get all of the grandkids?

Ollie: The wife had the kids.

Lynn: I should have known. Ollie, do you know all of the names of the grandkids?

Ollie: Yup, I sure do.

Lynn: You do!!!!!!!

Ollie: Sure, it’s simple.

Lynn: It is? Can you name some of them for me?

Ollie: Sure. Hey You.

Lynn: Hey You?

Ollie: Yup, they’re all called Hey You.

Lynn: You mean to tell me that each kid is called Hey You? How did you select that name?

Ollie: We liked Chinese names. Besides, it made things simple.

Lynn: How so?

Ollie: Nope. How So are the names of my brother’s kids.

Lynn: Let’s not go there. How does the name for each kid being Hey You make things simple?

Ollie: Well, when we want the kids to come we just yell – Hey You. They all show up. It’s simple.

Lynn: I give up.