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Ice CreamLynn: Ollie, have you started Christmas shopping yet? Ollie: Yup Lynn: You have! Tell me, who have you been shopping for? Ollie: Crystal Lynn: Really! Why did you start with shopping for Crystal? Ollie: Cuz she’s ticked at me. Lynn: Well I’m sure she will forgive you. Tell me, what did you buy her? Ollie: Ice cream. Lynn: Ice cream! Ollie: Yep, I got her some ice cream. Lynn: Well that is really nice. What kind did you get her? Ollie: Nilla Lynn: Nilla? Ollie: Yeah, nilla. Lynn: You mean vanilla don’t you. Ollie: That’s what I said, nilla. Lynn: Ollie, why don’t you say vanilla. Ollie: (slowly and frustrated) Cuz I don’t know how to say vanilla. Lynn: But you just said it. Ollie: Said what? Lynn: Vanilla Ollie: Right, nilla Lynn: Oh, forget it. What else did you get? Ollie: Chocolate. Lynn: Chocolate ice cream? Ollie: Yeh, chocolate. Lynn: Why? Ollie: Cuz I like chocolate. Lynn: Ollie, how much ice cream did you buy? Ollie: A hundred gallons. Lynn: A hundred gallons! Ollie: Yep. Lynn: Why did you buy a hundred gallons of ice cream? Ollie: Cuz I like ice cream. Lynn: Ollie, stop to think for a moment. We haven’t got room to keep a hundred gallons of ice cream. We only have a refrigerator with a small freezer. We don’t have a big freezer. Ollie: You will tomorrow. Lynn: What do you mean, we will tomorrow? Ollie: I got a freezer too. Lynn: Well where do you think we are going to put this freezer? Ollie: In my room. Lynn: Your room? Ollie: Yup. Lynn: Why. Ollie: Cuz, I like ice cream. Lynn: Now let’s talk about this for a minute. How much did you pay for the ice cream? Ollie: Ten dollars a gallon. Lynn: Ten dollars a gallon! Why did you pay ten dollars a gallon for ice cream? Ollie: Cuz I got it on sale. Lynn: And the freezer, how much did that cost? Ollie: Three thousand dollars. Lynn: Three thousand dollars for a freezer! Why did you pay that? Ollie: Cuz I got it on sale. Lynn: Ollie, that’s terrible. You only make $200 dollars a month on your pension. Ollie: $210. Lynn: Let’s think this one through Ollie. You’re telling me that you bought 100 gallons of ice cream at ten dollars a gallon. Ollie: Yup Lynn: And you also bought a freezer for three thousand dollars. Ollie: Yup. Lynn: That’s four thousand dollars! Ollie: Yup. Lynn: Do you realize how long it is going to take to pay off $4,000 with your pension of only $210 a month. Ollie: It’s paid for. Lynn: It’s paid for? Ollie, you don’t have any money saved. How did you pay for it. Ollie: I used your credit card. Lynn: My credit card! Why? Ollie: Well, you weren’t using it. Lynn: Ollie, who gave you permission to use my credit card? Ollie: The dog. Lynn: The dog? Ollie: Yup. Lynn: How did Heidi, our dog, give you permission to use my credit card. Ollie: Well, I looked at her and said, "Heidi, can I use Lynn’s credit card to buy ice cream and a freezer? She wagged her tail, and that meant yes." Lynn: Ollie, she doesn’t know what to do with a credit card. Ollie: She does now. Lynn: I’m afraid to ask, how does she know now? Ollie: She ate it. Lynn: What, she ate my credit card? Ollie: Yup. Lynn: Now what am I going to do? I don’t have a credit card anymore. Ollie: You do now. Lynn: What do you mean, I do now. Ollie: I got you a new card with more money in it. Lynn: Why? Ollie: So I can get more ice cream. Lynn: Ollie, now tell me truthfully. You didn’t really buy a hundred gallons of ice cream did you? Ollie: (shaking head) Nope. Lynn: Thank goodness. What did you really buy. Ollie: Two hundred gallons. Lynn: Whoa, two hundred gallons. Why? Ollie: Cuz I like ice cream. Lynn: Well I’m going to have to something to straighten this mess out. Ollie, tell me, are you going to get me a present. Ollie: Do you like chocolate ice cream? Lynn: No, I don’t like chocolate ice cream. Ollie: You’re not getting’ anything.
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